Saturday, May 23, 2009


Hey William,

We are up in the mountains today visiting Laura Jayne's mom and dad. Her mom is doing lots better and said we should come visit. So we are. Laura Jayne is going to paint today and Danny is going to build a new hutch for the bunnies.
There was a pretty fuzzy dandelion in the yard so I made a wish for you William. I wished that we could see each other again soon, because I miss you.

Love and huggles,

Saturday, May 2, 2009

An Award.... Yea!!!

William.... look we got an award from Sullivan McPig!! Wow and thank you Sullivan :)

I hope to never meet a zombie chicken, but still love the award. Here is what the award is all about.

The Zombie Chicken

"The blogger who receives this award believes in the Tao of the Zombie Chicken, excellence, grace, and persistence in all situations, even in the midst of a zombie apocalypse. These amazing bloggers regularly produce content so remarkable that their readers would brave a raving pack of zombie chickens just to be able to read their inspiring words.

Sullivan said we don't have to pass it on... and I am glad, cause it kind of scares me all the zombie possibilities.

How are you in Scotland? Anything new and fun going on? Not much here, other than Laura Jayne went on a vacation, but she didn't take me with her. I stayed home in case her Mommy needed me to fix her soup for her not feeling good. She is taking all the medicine the doctors tell her to and she is feeling pretty ok.

Miss you William. Write to me.


Sunday, April 5, 2009

Out for Some Game Playing

Dearest William,

I am so excited that you were such a help getting Graeme to study hard and pass his test.

Things have been sad around here. Laura Jayne's Mom has been sick and in the hospital. But the doctors are taking good care of her and think she will get well. She came home from the hospital on Thursday night and Laura Jayne went to visit her and had to put on a mask so that she wouldn't give her Mommy germies.

We had some fun this weekend. We went golfing on a big course. I got to be what they call the caddy. Which meant going around and telling Laura Jayne which club to use when and how far away things were. I did a good job and we had a good time walking around and listening to the birds and hitting little tiny balls with big sticks.

This is me tending the flag. It was my job to pull the flag pole out of the hole when the ball came close.

We went to breakfast after walking around and back and forth and around some more on the golf course. It was a really nice day William, I will like playing golf with you when you come home here.
I miss you. Please write again soon.
Huggles and love,

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

4 Weeks is a long time in Education

4 Weeks!!!

Martha!!!! I have been gone so long -but what a lovely holiday you had. I didnt know you could sing - you never sing for me? You looked very Michelle Pfeiffer up there on that piano - I'm told men find her sexy, so thats a compliment.

We've been suffering here Martha, havent been oot o the hoose in nearly a month, we've been studying for our exams - a stack of books here taller than an elephant all had to be crammed into oor little heids

- but we passed - yaaaaaay - and now with the help of "one little beer" all that information is being flushed oot!

We did tak one day aff and I got to meet some new friends - here's me with a friendly wee bear, he didnt bite but I wouldnt invite him round, you wouldnt believe how much he eats.

I then went to a top secret location - Shhhh, cannae tell ye, but it begins with A, and met all these secret agents ... theres a wee hamster and a moose that saves the world, and a dog who wont tell me his real name, says its a number 1 secret...

I think now all this studying is over, we can go oot again soon - I hope so as the sun is shining now and the floories are beginning to appear.


Saturday, February 21, 2009

Our Vacation

Hi William,

While you have been turning even more blue in cold Scotland we went on a cruise on a really big boat to Mexico. It was warm and sunny and lovely. But the whole time I just really wish you were with me. Here are some pictures showing the fun we had.
We arrived in San Diego and took all our bags to the big boat.

When we checked in they had to check all our papers. The certificates that said we were born. But if we weren't born we wouldn't be going on a cruise so I wasn't quite sure about this. But the lady was really nice and soon we were on the ship.

On of the first things we did was relax in the sun. Such a a nice way to spend the afternoon.

Then we checked out the ship. I made sure all the safety stuff was all where it needed to be. An elephant can't be too safe. Laura Jayne said she was proud of me for being safe.

And speaking of safe after the walk but before they would let the ship set out onto the big ocean. We had to have a mustard drill. I don't know why we needed mustard, but we also needed big orange floaty things in case we decide to go swimming or the boat hits an iceburg off the coast of the baja penisula.

Then after the mustard drill the boat started to float out to sea. It was exciting to watch all the other smaller boats go by. This is the window from our room.

The next morning we were in Ensenada, Mexico. There is one important thing to do in Mexico, and it involves drinking lots of fuzzy stuff from green bottles.

So not wanting to offend my new friends in this new country I drank lots of fuzzy stuff until my head got very fuzzy itself.

Later we got back on the boat and had fun there. We played golf, which is fun when the boat is rocking and going up and down and back and forth and the little ball rolls all crazy.

And we played pingy-pong. I was good at pingy-pongy and won two games.

We at a whole lot every day. And lots of good food at dinner. And after dinner we sat and listened to this very nice man sing us songs. He even invited me up and we sang a duet of a pretty song called Norweigan Wood.

I also made some great new friends on the cruise. Every night a new friend would come to stay in our room. By the last night it was a bit crowded, but we had quite fun party. Another elephant came to stay, and a cat and walrus, we had a wonderful time.

Then it was time to go home again. So we waved goodbye to the big boat and drove home. It was such fun William. I would like to go on a cruise with you some day. Do you think you would like that. Maybe to Alaska since you are now so used to it being cold all the time.

I love you William and miss you.



Saturday, February 14, 2009

Snowy Hearts

I was Sooooo jealous seeing you snowboarding as Scotland seems more suited to watersking in the rain, but then THIS happened - white stuff from the sky!
I've not seen proper snow before so I was a bit nervous about going out... but I put my wee scarf on and hit under the tree while the snow fell.

Everything gets so quiet in the snow - like the entire country has said "shhh" and all you hear is the "crump crump" of feet in fresh snow.

All the kids here, young and old (Graeme!) went out and had a snow ball fight in the street - I kept warm in my matching scarf and threw the old sneakie shot - the wee mice never knew what hit them!

It seems we've started a fashion statement this year as scarfs are all the rage, nae so sure about the hat though, widnae fit over my ears too well...

Alas and woe, the wee scarf kept me warm, but I think I caught a wee snuffle fae the snowball fight, I didnae feel too smart the next day and when they took ma temperature at Elephany Hospital I was a wee bit poorly, I was 21Centipedes which is how they measure things over here - they dont count in Fairyheights like we do, I think this means I was as ill as 69Fairys which is not good. I'm feeling better now tho - peanuts and a week in bed put me to rights.

And I bet you thought I forgot what day this was didnt you??? Miss you Martha.

Thursday, February 5, 2009


Hi William,

Look what we did today. Snowboarding. We went wooshhh and swoshhh all over the mountain. This is when we first got there. I was a wee bit scared at how big the mountain was, but I didn't let anyone see me being a scardy-elephant. And once I tried it I liked it.

We rode up the moutain on these thingies that looked like swings for two people, but since I am a big elephant I got one all to myself so I didn't accidently push anyone off.

Here I am on the snowboard. It takes lots and lots of practice and lots and lots of falling down to be a good woosher and swoosher, but I think I did pretty good.

At the end of the day it was nice just to sit and watch the other people and the snow falling.



Sunday, February 1, 2009

Fun and Food

Hi William,

We had fun today. It is a sort of sport's holiday her in America. We went to some friends house and ate lots of food. Maybe that is why people play sports so other people eat lot.

Laura Jayne made chili and guacamole which is the traditional meal served on this American holiday. And which Laura makes a lot when we go to parties.

The team we were cheering for won the game,
but my tummy was so fully by then I just moaned a bit rather than cheering.
Jessica and her boyfriend Jeff were really full too. Oh, I think all this eating is not the best holiday there is.

What did you do this weekend William?


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Hi William,

You look so happy there in the sunshine. And Graeme was smiling too, did you tickle him? I love the castle too. Maybe one day we can go together there. Laura Jayne doesn't mind spending money once in a while so she will pay and just make Graeme go even if he is grumpy.

I had a great time at Laura Jayne's writing group. We wrote stuff and read stuff and met a writer guy who talked to us about writery stuff.

I was helping Laura Jayne make sure her words were all spelled right here, I am not the best speller but I try hard and that is what counts Laura says. And then later I wrote my own poem. Kathryn who is very nice and says to us what we might want to write about, said to think about reaching for something that you always know it is there and it not being there. That got me thinking about reaching for you William and so I wrote this.

His blue trunk I miss
huggling my wee pink trunk
My heart misses him

It is called a Haiku. You are usually supposed to write about nature and stuff, but we are elephants and we come from the wild so maybe that is naturey enough. Haiku have a certain number of sibbles. That is how things sound if you count them on your fingers. Like... el-a-phant has three sibbles. A Haiku has 5-7-5 sibbles and I counted them right for your poem William.

Huggles to you and I do miss you.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

You are my sunshine... my only sunshine

Sunshine and Smiles...

Things are definitely looking up, in fact people are looking to the skies for the first time and asking "what is that bright yellow thing".. I took the opportunity to do some sunbathing in a nearby tree. When people visit Africa and wonder where all the elephants are, why do they never look in the trees?

Here's me in a normal tourist pose in Edinburgh with the castle behind me, "normal" tourists would then goto the castle, but apparently that "costs bl**dy money" which makes is impossible and made Graeme all grumpy when I pressed him!

However, sunlight is free, and we had loads today.. I'm not sure if Graeme is smiling because the sun is nice or because its cheap. (yes, that is a smile apparently)

Once it had turned all cold and dark again we went for Coffee and Cake with his friend , they saved me a bit of "carrot cake" but I just snorted at them - CARROTS - do I look like a donkey?? Nae fool me, I'll hold off until theres chocolate and peanut cake on offer.

So Martha, what did you write yesterday? Was it the fantasy of the elephant that can fly (we've both done that now) or was it a poem of Scotch Mist, or a song even - we haven't sang for so very long and as you know, we elephants can provide our own horn sections.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Writing Tomorrow

Hi William,

Tomorrow I get to go with Laura Jayne to her writing group. I am looking forward to it. I will let you know tomorrow how it goes. I hope we write poems then I could share it with you after.

What are you doing this weekend? Is it raining again there. It is raining here today.

Okay, time to go out to dinner.


Saturday, January 17, 2009


Hi William,

I was so happy to see you again. You look cold and wet, but still the handsome elephant I miss so very much.
We had fun last night. Laura Jayne said it was a very long, very not happy week at work and that going out on Friday night for fun is part of what makes going to work all week and not having fun bearable.

We went to an ice hockey game. I had never seen this before. Skating on ice seems like it would be lots and lots of fun, but these boys slide all around on the ice chasing a little black thingy with sticks and they hit each other a whole lot. The object of the game is to get the little black thingy in the little net at one end of the ice by hitting it with your stick. But the other boys are trying to stop you from doing that. And they get mean sometimes too. They flip and slide and hit and hit some more. They smoosh each other on the edges of the ice where the people sit and the people get all excited (and sort of mean too). But once I understood that part of the game is to be mean, well I just decided if they wanted to play that way I would just sit back and cheer for them and hope no one got too owied. And no one did. They have lots of padding on and skate really good.

Part of the fun of the night was the getting to eat really good bad for you food. We had hot dogs and chippies and bubbly sweet drinks that tickled my trunk, and squishy pretzels with lots of salt, and more hot dogs (which really aren't dogs at all). Oh, and peanuts, I had a whole bag of peanuts all for myself. I had a wee tummy ache by the end of all of it.

I learned a new word last night too. Zamboni. It is a car like thingy that goes
round and round and round on the ice squooshing out water so the ice is all smooth again. Oh, and it was cooooolllldddd at the arena so that the ice wouldn't melt. Me and Laura Jayne shivered a
little bit, but not too much. She was silly and wore flippy-floppy shoes so she said her toes got cold.

Today we are going back to visit Hannah and Emma, Laura Jayne's nieces. It is Hannah's birthday party, she is three now. There will be games and cake. I am excited.

What are you doing today?


Friday, January 16, 2009

Nemo the Elephant

Martha - I'm not sure Elephants were meant for snow - surely your trunk was freezing? Or is the scarf warm?

The full size version of your scarf arrived here - G says "mmmmf mfff mmmf mm" when he goes out with it on, which I guess means "toasty cosy in here"

And cosy it has to be - he keeps taking me out and we have travelled the central belt of the Scotland looking for the mythical "dry bit" but as you can see, it is never to be. I let him get out of the car to test the waters, I'm nae so feel as they say!

I have been making a difference here Martha my quine, there are smiles on the loons face and a genuine laugh - everyone needs an Elephant, even if just to hold their brollies. If this keeps up, America..... and Martha.....

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Snowman and Roses and Water Bottles

Hi William,

I heard that it is snowing in Scotland today!!! Yea!! Snow is so wonderful as long as you are all wrapped up warm. This is one last picture from the moutains. It was a pretty snowman the first day, but this is the second day and it sort of melted and lost its eyes and nose. Poor snowman.

We are back home now. I am keeping Hubby company as he is off work for a couple days. We went to antique stores yesterday and bought Laura Jayne a present. She has a BIG glass water bottle where she keeps all the roses Hubby ever gives to her after she lets them dry. Somebody, or maybe it was nobody, or maybe it was one of the doggies, well nobody is telling so not really sure, but nobody or somebody broke her BIG glass water bottle and all the roses were on the floor. So me and Hubby went and got her a new one and put every rose into the new bottle. Laura Jayne was very happy and gave Hubby big huggles for being so sweet.

Huggles to you William,

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Out and About Today

Hi William,

We are having a nice time in the mountains even though it was cold and cloudy today. We went down into town. There were lots of people walking all over into the little shops where you can buy t-shirts, and silly stuff.

There are lots of big green trees that look like giant Christmas trees. And the clouds were very low and I was glad to have my new pink scarf. Brrrrr.

We went to the grocery store to get food to make to eat during the football game. Now don't get confused William, this is American football. The kind where you can touch ball a lot. Not the kind where you can only touch the ball with your feet that they call soccer here but I know they call football in Scotland. We got stuff to make chili, which isn't chilly at all it is really hot and spicy, and stuff to make guacamole, which is green yummy on chippies, and stuff to make corn bread, which doesn't look like it has corn in it.

I thought we should get some of these cuppy cakes that looked very yummy. But we didn't, darn it.

After the groceries we went and painted these cups at a little place that you pick out the bare white pieces of pottery and paint any pretty design you want. Laura Jayne and I worked on this one that looks kind of like a watermelon. Green on the outside and we painted it red on the inside.

When we got back from being out all day I was tired and me and the kitty took a really nice nap where it was very nice and warm.

Now we are eating chili and cornbread and watching football. We are cheering for the Chargers. They are the ones in blue. There is lots of yelling and cheering and clapping. Sports are fun and Laura Jayne and Hubby and Mom and Dad are having fun and I am having fun.

I hope you are having fun William.

Huggles and more huggles,